candacemp

WHAT I WANT:

• Someone that will tell me how they feel.
• Someone that will make me feel beautiful.
• Someone that will talk to me.
• Someone that isn't afraid to talk things through with me when we're having problems or when i do something they don't agree with.
• Someone that will tell me how they feel about me and what they think of me all the time.
• Someone that will look at me like I'm the only woman around.
• Someone that wont lead me on.
• Someone that will be happy about being with me.
• Someone that will travel with me every once and a while.
• Someone that will spend time with me.
• Someone that gets my sarcasm and dorky humor.
• Someone that likes the same kind of movies.
• Someone that likes to go out and do stuff on weekends instead of doing the same thing all the time.
• Someone that will either come with me to shows or not be bothered by how many concerts i go to.
• Someone that wont drag me down.
• Someone that will either go to clubs, bars, parties with me or not complain when i go.

WHAT I DON'T WANT:

• Someone to tell me what to do
• Someone to tell me how to dress or act
• Someone that disappears days at a time
• Someone that can't be bothered to contact me when they are busy just to say hello. I get that a person can get busy...but theres always a free minute to text someone to say hi and that you miss them.
• Someone who will place meaningless things above me as a priority
• Someone that keeps doing something after I've told them I don't like it (like doing and saying inappropriate things at inappropriate times).
• Someone that will string me along because they don't want to be single.
• Someone that won't take 5 minutes out of their day to call/text/im me to say hello.
• Someone that picks on me constantly (i can take a joke and i can take being teased every once and a while but most guys tend to go way overboard and do it too often)
• Someone that is so quiet about us being together that no one really knows we're even together.

I have more that I will add later....

So last week I made a post about a guy. Then I deleted it because we had a talk. I thought things were better and that we were going to work to make our relationship work. WROOOOOOOOOOOOONG!! I haven't really spoken to him since Thursday. Because HE decided we need some time apart. What I really think is that he's not interested because he's now interested in someone else. Yeah it hurts. BUT I'll get over it. I've gotten over this crap before. However this time I'm walking away with my head up. To me I am attractive (when I want to be).  In my opinion I'm an awesome person if you take the time to get to know me and understand how I work. If you don't...well then that's just your loss and I feel sorry for you. Because you could very well be missing out on the best thing that could've ever happened to you. Sucks to be you! I'm slowly improving my life and making things better for me. Because of this I have become happier then I've been and I love the me that I'm turning out to be. So I'm not the hottest chick on the planet. I'm happy with what I have and I work with what I have. So I'm not rich. But at least I have a job and goals so I know that I'm going somewhere in the future. I don't want to be alone (no one really does). But I'd rather be alone then be strung along by someone who doesn't really want me but doesn't want to be alone even more. I'm okay with being alone with hopes of finding someone that truly wants to be with me.

I used to have all these friends and people to talk to. I don't seem to have that anymore and because of it I currently feel very alone. I know I have people that I can talk to if I need to. But to me they aren't really the people you can go to and confide in or that will talk with you through something until you feel better. I feel so lost because I don't know why I feel the way I feel and what is causing it. So I'm currently feeling lost and bothered.

For some reason I woke up this morning with a bad feeling. Like something is going to happen......I hope its just the weather making me feel this way...

So I've met someone that has really made me think a lot about my life. Where do I want to go? What do I want to do? Where do I see myself in years to come? What kind of person do I want to be? I've come to realize that I have a lot of things about me that I don't really like. So I think its time for me to make some changes in my life to help me improve myself and my relationships with others.

My List Of Bad Qualities:

1) I have low self esteem and no confidence.
2) I always assume and expect the worst.
3) I push people away.
4) I tend to let things in the past control things for the future instead of just letting the pieces fall as they may.
5) I pick at something/someone until i dislike it/them.
6) I have terrible mood swings because of my crazy views on things.

I'm sure there are a list of reasons why I am the way I am. But it doesn't really matter. What matters is that I do what I need to do to improve myself.

So I've decided to come back to livejournal. Yay for me! (i guess). I came back because a lot of stuff has changed in my life so its time for me to do some serious thinking. What better place to do it then on a website where i know no one and i can post my thoughts and views and have complete strangers help guide me ;)